


Fun House Mirror

by StuftZombie



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Losers (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, cloning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-20 23:32:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2447144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StuftZombie/pseuds/StuftZombie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen thought his life was pretty weird to begin with. Then he found out he was a clone of Captain America. Okay there was some stuff before that but that's when it started.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stay Defrosty

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Meekobits on tumblr. She has some wonderful drawings of clone Jensen. To which I said "Damn it" and started writing. 
> 
> Here's the link to her first one:  
> http://meekobits.tumblr.com/post/98176851469/actually-napped-today-had-a-weird-dream-hyrda

Jensen supremely did not enjoy being frozen. The very first time his CO Clay was standing by the door trying not to look concerned while a group of Army scientists explained the likelihood of damage to higher brain functions. The Soldier just walked into his own personal ice box without hesitation next to him. That had calmed Jensen down until he heard the team lead say, “There’s only a 60% chance of something important actually being damaged.” He saw Clay’s eyes widen right before he was flash frozen.

Defrosting took a bit longer, but once he came around he started cursing up a blue streak about the whole 60% thing and tried to get up out of the gurney. A warm hand pushed him back and he heard Clay say, “Don’t worry kid, I broke the guy's face right after they put you out.”

Jensen groaned as he relaxed on the stiff bed, “Please tell me you took pictures.”

His CO chuckled and ruffled his hair. “No, not personally,” Clay said as he held out his glasses, “but there are plenty in the incident report”.

“Tubular,” he replied and gave a weak thumbs up. He took a moment to look around the room. Next to him the Soldier was already up and fully dressed. Jensen snorted, “That was just a power nap for you, wasn’t it? That why they call you the Winter Soldier? Freakin’ iceman.”

 

The next time he woke up he had the misfortune of meeting Alexander Pierce. A misfortune shared by all. Pierce didn’t like him. Jensen didn’t like Pierce. Pierce wanted Clay to listen to him. Clay could not stand Pierce so that was pretty much out the window. The Soldier just bounced back and forth between orders from Jensen and Pierce like that little ball in pong.

As a result the mission was almost botched and Winter Soldier went AWOL. In spite of all of that, it was in fact it was Jensen that managed to rerail the derailed mission (something he argued loudly and Clay argued even louder). Despite that, Pierce blamed him. He and Soldier were popsicled again and Clay promised to get him out. Jensen gave him a smirk before one last thumbs up.

 

The third time he woke up was easier than the previous times. Jensen cracked his neck loudly as he adjusted to the whole not being frozen. The usual entourage of doctors was missing and he was still hooked up to various tubes. As he started to worry about the changes in procedure someone heaved the door to his fridge open.

“Clay? When the hell did you get old?”

“We’ve been lied to,” he said instead of responding, “Get dressed. We need to get out of here before they notice you’re awake.”

 

Turned out Clay and team ‘Merica were keeping a lot of secrets. Well, he’d known that for a while they weren’t totally honest, after all why have a sarcastic, asthmatic with astigmatism trained up from birth to go on black ops missions. If you’re gonna do that you do that with someone in perfect health. Or someone without the need to make inappropriate jokes while they are going after a warlord in some other unintelligibly named country. Looking back he should have been fired after miming sodomizing og toy dinosaurs before going after a South American drug lord. Even the Soldier had given him a weird look and his only expressions were dead eyes or an ‘I’m going to kill you slowly death’ glare.

They were in a cabin in the middle of the top left corner of Minnesota when Clay finally let him speak. Rather he was talking at the side of his face shortly after leaving New York but Clay didn’t so much as twitch an eye until they hit Anoka. At which point he pulled over and pulled a massive stack of files out a bag of holding and dropped it on Jensen’s lap. He read in silence with an occasional, “Seriously?!?” outburst. His CO (or maybe former CO the situation was still confusing) sat him down in a surprisingly comfy three room cabin that was generator powered.

“So,” Jensen started slowly looking at the file before him, “I’m a clone. A clone of Captain fucking America?” As a result of this wording Jensen was temporarily distracted from his existential crisis by a very explicit and exact image. Which in itself made him doubt his apparent clone daddy.

 “I knew it for a while. You look just like him kid.”Clay put his boots up on the oak slab coffee table. He passed Jensen a beer before starting up again. “You’re two inches shorter and missing a third of the muscle mass but it’s a more than casual resemblance. So no shaving that stupid beard of yours, it could draw to much attention.”

“And this is a problem because…?” Jensen took a swig of the beer.

“Five days ago all S.H.E.I.L.D. and other parts of the government revealed to be fully infiltrated by Hydra. Which means we were working for Hydra.”

“Dude, that sucks,” Jensen lowered his beer, “Still don’t know why we’re in Minnesota.”

Clay took a deep exhausted breath, “Because part of everyone finding out S.H.E.I.L.D. was part of Hydra was an agent releasing all of their, and by extension Hydra’s documents to the public.”

“Ah?”

“That includes the files related to you and the failed Steve Rogers clones,” Clay said slowly.

“Ah.”

Clay sighed, “It should take them a while to find that little nugget but I wasn’t going to wait around for some idiot to find you on ice.”

“Clay, I didn’t know you cared,” Jensen overdramatically put a hand over his heart.

“I do,” he took a long drink, “About them. You would have talked the poor sap to death.”

 

Clay got him a fake I.D. and a tech support job a few hours outside St. Louis. It was mind numbing and he imagined thousands of ways to make a spoon a weapon against himself or others. Still he wasn’t working for a super secret evil organization so that was a plus. Also it helped him adapt to modern technology. After the self imposed boot camp in the cabin Jensen agreed with Clay, the fastest way to get back to proficiency in computers was working with them every day. Even if he had to deal with idiots. Every morning, despite Clay’s insistence of varying routines, he got coffee at the same little shop on his way to work. It wasn’t a problem until red headed chick started showing up at The Grind. As a testament to his lack of observation he didn’t notice she was a problem until she had his face pressed up against a brick wall.

“Owwwww, face,” he whined as she pushed his head harder against the brick.

She had one of his arms twisted up against his back to the point he could almost touch his ear. He could have attempted an escape but she had grabbed him in less than five seconds and held on with the casual control of an expert. Sure, he could have gotten out. That would have only meant the next hold would be twice as painful. He’d learned that after mouthing off to Clay before sparring. She began searching through his pockets and bag with her free hand. Jensen tried his best not to fidget under her hand.

“Relax,” she said in a bored tone, “I’m just checking for some ID.”

He snorted, “Well you could have just asked for a name.”

There was a pause, Jensen was sure she was glaring at him. “Yeah I’ll just check for myself.”

He groaned against the brick. She pulled his wallet out of his messenger bag and stared flipping through his cards. Clay was gonna yell at him after he killed him. He was supposed to vary his route. He was supposed to be aware of suspicious characters. Instead Clay would call him lazy since he just wanted to live like he wasn’t wanted by 800 questionably legal agencies. It was really stupid. But it had been a nice few weeks, even if he had wanted to maim idiots.

“Hmm,” the woman shifted behind him, “yep, found you. I have someone who wants to meet you.”

“Ah shi-“ Jensen managed to get out before he was tazed in the back of the head. Oh yeah, that was the promising start to the conversation.


	2. Waking up in DC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the first time Jensen woke up in an unknown location. Sadly no alcohol was involved this time.

Waking up did not go how Jensen expected. He’d been knocked out and dragged across country before. It usually involved cloth hoods, biting ropes and bodily harm before Clay or the Soldier took names getting him out. Instead he was not blinded, tied up or injured beyond a killer head ache. Even then he woke up fully dressed in a comfy bed with a glass of water and pain killers on the night stand next to his glasses.

“That’s new,” he said half asleep. Jensen ignored the pain killers as he walked toward the bedroom door. Second surprise it was unlocked. He opened the door as quietly as possible and headed down the stairs. As he went down he heard the clanging of pans on metal. At the base of the stairs there was there was an umbrella in a stand which he grabbed until he could get another weapon. He scanned the room for the nearest exit, both of which were in view of the kitchen. Jensen started toward the front door when a voice called out.

“How do you like your eggs?”

Jensen froze umbrella raised, “Uh, what?”

“Your eggs,” a man came out of the kitchen, “over easy, sunny side up, scrabbled? If you wait too long they’re gonna be scrabbled regardless.”

“Sunny side up,” Jensen said without moving.

The man smiled, “Cool, should be ready in a minute. Got any dietary problems? Couldn’t exactly ask you earlier.”

He raised an eyebrow but started lowering the umbrella. “That’s because a small red headed woman sent a few hundred volts of electricity through my skull.”

“Yeah Nat can be a little intense,” he moved back to the kitchen speaking louder, “She means well but she has the tact of an over protective pit bull with anger management issues.”

“That is an oddly specific description,” Jensen kept the umbrella but worked his toward the table.

“Natasha is an oddly specific person,” he said with a laugh, “And how about those dietary issues?”

Jensen stared at the man. He reminded him of a nicer, smaller version of a man Clay had called in name Roque. Roque had gone a little crazy after a few too many close calls. Or maybe he had just gotten greedy. Still enough down memory lane, also this guy may have actually been taller than Roque. Still, he didn’t have the same crazy eyes. As Jensen thought about eyes he saw the guy was staring at him. Probably because he still hadn’t answered his question.

“I have a bit of a vitamin B12 deficiency.”

The man smiled, “Kay, think I got some yogurt. Got some leftover fruit I can throw in.” He went back to the kitchen. “My name’s Sam Wilson by the way.”

“Huh, Jake Jensen, but everyone just calls me Jensen.” He sat for a moment vaguely recognizing the name. Clay had him read a metric ton of paper work and it all rattled around in his head. Sam had also said his name like it meant something, which meant it probably did. There was orange juice and eggs in front of him before it clicked.

“Sam Wilson the Falcon, Sam Wilson,” Jensen asked high pitched, “does that mean Natasha as in the Black Widow?”

“Yes,” Sam set a bowl yogurt next to the plate.

“At least I know who you work with. How am I not dead?” Jensen started in on food. No point in poisoning a guy that you could have killed in St. Louis.

Sam took the question in stride. “Because she’s a good guy.”

“Really?” Jensen had a mouthful of bacon, “She’s one of the most terrifying assassins of all time, and she’s Russian.”

“She used to be a bad guy. Then she was S.H.E.I.L.D.’s bad guy. Now she’s trying to be a good guy,” Sam shrugged, “So at worst she’s our bad guy.”

“What does it mean that she’s your bad guy?”

“For one, less death,” Sam gave a knowing look over his glass of orange juice. Jensen stopped chewing for a second. Something clicked in his head that told him the Black Widow may have been the most terrifying assassin but there was a reason they left Sam alone with him. Great, more terrifying people to meet.

 

Meeting Steve Grant Rogers was the weirdest experience in his life. And he’s woken up in a Serbian Brothel after a petting zoo broke in. Steve has about two inches on him but has the presence of a giant. Jensen worked hard to maintain his muscle mass even while in hiding but he feels tiny in front of Captain America. Worst of all Rogers has a raised eyebrow that conveys disdain and pity. He hates multitasking eyebrows, Clay had one of those. It was annoying. He also gets the distinct feeling the Captain is going to call him Son.

“Son, you got a lot of explaining to do,” Rogers loomed over him with his arms crossed. Jensen groaned.

He ran his hands over his face. “I only found out about this a few weeks ago. That was also when I found out I was working for evil lords. That and the harmless death gerbil I was in charge of was a frozen World War Two buddy of my clone daddy. Which I just found out I had.”

Return of the eyebrow. This time with anger and confusion. Natasha is the one however that speaks up, “Harmless death gerbil?”

Ah, insulting the World War Two buddy’s bestie. Great start he thinks. “Well,” Jensen grasped for an explanation, “He was quiet. Stayed to himself despite attempts at human contact. Also killed a lot of people, that happened. Pretty sure I saw him run in a giant wheel once…”

Three collective stares greeted him.

“This is so weird,” Sam said flatly. Natasha rolled her eyes which he figured was her version of a nod. Rogers just widened his eyes slightly.

Rogers seemed to recover first and coughed into his hand. “Still I’m glad Natasha found you before Hydra or the Army had a chance. Would have hated to have them get back a hold of you.” He shifted his hands to his hips, “We can’t exactly take you back to Missouri since we found you there. If you just went back you’d be snapped up in no time. So your options are to be taken into custody or you could lend us a hand.”

Natasha leaned forward, “Uh, Steve…”

The massive man sighed oldly. “With S.H.E.I.L.D. disbanded and the agents in wind we could use all the help we can get. He might be able help us understand Hydra’s inner workings. It’s one thing to read through their files, it another to have a former agent.”

“I was unknowingly an agent. Just want to reiterate that,” Jensen interrupted.

“Regardless,” Rogers continued on, “Every other Hydra agent we’ve encountered has been less than forthcoming.”

“I still haven’t told you anything.”

“You also can’t shut up,” Steve smiled. “It’s an improvement.”

Jensen sat back against the couch. “Rude.”

“Besides according to the paperwork you found, Nat, he may be able to help the other thing,” Sam added. That got Jensen’s attention.

“No,” both Natasha and Rogers said. Natasha harshly, Rogers gently. The tiny terror sent him a glare that the Captain did not seem to react too.

“I’d like to trust you Jensen but we just met you,” Rogers turned his attention back to his friends, “That and our first priority with Jensen is to keep him safe. We just uprooted him, we don’t know where he’s going to stay. We’ll only make things worse dragging him into the field.”

“Because it kidnapping really sets up for a trusting relationship,” Jensen said rolling his eyes.

“Exactly,” Steve said without a trace of irony.

Sam stepped forward and put a hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “That doesn’t change the fact he used to be Bucky’s handler. Steve we’ve been looking for him for weeks. You may have known him all of growing up but there is a chunk of time you never saw. Jensen did. He may be the fresh eyes we need and face it he know him better.”

Rogers looked pained at the idea. “We still have some leads to check out.”

“We have hearsay,” Sam said slowly, “which what we’ve been working on from the beginning.”

Jensen stood up. “You guys are looking for the Winter Soldier, right?”

Rogers straightened his back and tensed. “No,” he said, “We’re looking for Bucky Barnes.”

“Kay,” Jensen gave a weak thumbs up, “Got ya. Well, fact is right now you’d probably do better looking for the Winter Soldier. Cause he went AWOL before. I mean I know what you’re saying, totally respect that. But you’re not gonna find him looking for him,” Jensen paused, “did that make sense to anyone else?”

There was moment when they all stood still. The assassin looked like she was planning ways to kill him. Sam and Rogers stared at each other in silent conversation. Right when it looked like Black Widow going to make her move Rogers sighed again.

“Yes, it does,” Rogers said, “we have to keep that in mind. Sam makes a good point. Jensen knew Bucky while they had him under control. Let’s start with looking over some of the information we’ve gathered and work out from there.”

Natasha snorted, “Steve I’m not sure this guy could find his underwear.”

“Again rude,” Jensen looked at her despite his instincts, “and it’s not my job to find my underwear.” He paused before he added, “besides I don’t wear any.”

She took a moment to look disgusted before she got a look like she just had another idea cross her mind. “Looks like he’s going commando, Steve,” Natasha smiled, “weren’t you a commando once?”

“I hate you so much Natasha.”

 

While the initial plan had been for Jensen to give cliff notes of working with Winter Soldier and stay in the cozy house the gang of polite kidnappers were subletting from a very nice old woman with a guard. He’d met her. Her name was Lorainne and she baked amazing banana bread. Sadly Natasha had to go continue tying up loose ends. Not sad that Natasha had to go, she was terrifying and reminded him to much of Aisha. No it was sad because that meant there was no one to make sure Jensen didn’t try and make a break for it. Which in all honesty he probably would have done so that was a good decision on their part. Instead it looked like he was going to be a hostage third wheel. Turned out he wasn’t the only hesitant about the trip ahead.

“I don’t know Sam,” he heard Rogers outside the kitchen window the day before they left. Jensen had come down to get a glass of water when he heard voices outside. He crept closer to the back door. “I want to like the kid but he’s not inspiring confidence.”

Sam made a noncommittal noise.

“Every time I try talking to him he makes a weird comment or tries to turn it into a sex joke,” Rogers sighed.

“Tries to turn it into a sex joke?” There was a humor in his voice.

“He’s about half as successful he thinks he is.”

Sam responded to that with a full rolling laugh. Rogers’ chuckle could be heard under the majority of the sound. Sam tapered off and possibly slapped his leg.

“So, here’s what I’m getting,” Sam said, “you think Jensen is a smart ass, who makes bad jokes, and has a problem with authority.”

“That was pretty apparent within 15 minutes of meeting him,” Rogers said.

“Uh huh,” a chair shifted, “Sound like anyone you know.”

“Oh my-, Sam,” There was a pause and thud noise. “Sam. He looks like me Sam. He looks like me and he’s all my worst character traits blown out of proportion!”

Again Sam was lost to laughter. Jensen groaned under window. Oh yeah, this was really not helping his self-esteem.

The other man stopped laughing again. “Nah man he ain’t that, just seems that way. He’s younger than you and bit more immature and possible coping mechanisms aside let’s be honest. He’s your little brother man. Of course you want to like him and strangle him at the same time.”

“I’m not sure it that’s the case,” Rogers started.

“How many times did Bucky chew your fool ass out for doing something stupid?”

“Exactly.” Sam paused, “Plus Bucky is involved. That means you have to share your best friend with your little brother.”

Rogers sighed, “When did you get so smart?”

“Came natural. Running the support group helped though.” Sam paused, “Hey want another beer?”

“Sure,” there was the scrape of a chair, “wait, just make Jensen get it.”

They would have been able to hear a pin drop if Jensen hadn’t decided to hit his head against the wall. He went to the fridge and grabbed three beers from the fridge.

Opening the door he asked, “Okay, how long did you know I was there?”

Sam and Rogers were both grinning up at him. “Since you got into the kitchen,” Rogers smirked.

“Don’t take it personally,” Sam gestured to the railing for him to sit, “I would have never known if it weren’t for hanging around Nat.”

Jensen groaned but felt more relaxed than he had the entire time he’d been there.


	3. Nothing like a road trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three men in a car. Male bonding at it's finest. Just don't smell the inside of said car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that has been reading this! 
> 
> This has been a lot of fun to just write for the sake of it. Also this was supposed to be under a thousand words total. I'll let you know how long it actually is once I'm done. 
> 
> (Hint: It's way more than that.)

Turned out there were a few advantages to having Jensen traveling along with Steve and Sam. First there was the addition of another music play list. Sam had a thing for R&B and certain Jazz musicians. Steve was similar but also had oldies and Big Band, and Swing Revival. He’d spit out his soda when he’d ask Steve what the band was and the Captain had replied Squirrel Nut Zippers. Jensen however stuck to more contemporary music. Some of which the other men thought was annoying (no dubstep allowed), some accept and other they were actually impressed with. If anything it gave opportunities for kindhearted arguing.  

They also found out Steve and Jensen could listen to the same song on repeat from sunrise to sunset. Sam on the other hand could not. This resulted in one memorable incident where Sam chased Steve through a gas station swearing after the twentieth play of “Stray Cat Strut”. Jensen has it recorded on his phone and backed up on his hard drive.

Another strange advantage is just Jensen walking around with them decreases the amount they identified. A guy walking around who look like Captain American with a guy that might be the Falcon? Lots of attention, even in baseball caps and sunglasses. Two guys who look like Captain America? It’s coincidence because as far as the general public there is only Steve Rogers. It is impossible for there to be two Steve Rogers, and hey look there’s a black guy walking with them.

Jensen thought a few times about contacting Clay but could never talk himself into doing it. He wanted his CO to know he was safe, not grabbed by Hydra which would be easier if he had a phone to call. Instead Clay had gone with the “I’ll contact you” method of communication. Any outside method of contact could draw the kind of attention Clay wanted him to avoid. He tried to avoid talking about Clay as much as possible. There was one notable exception though.

“Hey dude,” Sam was in the driver’s seat of the SUV.

Jensen sat in the passenger’s side scrolling through the music list, “Yeah?”

“How come whenever you talk to Nat you look like you wanna hide?” Sam asked. “I know she’s intense but I didn’t think she was that intense.”

He narrowed his eyes and clicked on a mashup of a Belgian singer and Korean techno. Sam winced and Steve snorted from the backseat.

“Just an irrational fear Jake has,” Steve said sounding casual. Turning around Jensen saw he’d closed his book and was smiling innocently.

“It is a completely rational fear,” Jensen pointed at him.

“Maybe,” he shrugged, “but you swing past rational to hiding behind the nearest object.”

“I’m not that bad!”

“Yes. You are,” Sam raised an eyebrow.

Jensen turned up the music and glared at them both. Sam reached over and turned it back down. He tried to turn it back up and Sam slapped his hand.

“Ya see,” Sam said with his hand poised to slap again, “evasion like that tells me there is a story behind this.”

Jensen closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the seat. He let a groan before he resigned himself to the fate of being trapped in a moving vehicle. “She reminds me of my CO’s ex-girlfriend.”

There was a beat of silence. “Okay,” Sam nodded, “accurate but still vague.”

“Her name was Aisha,” His eye twitched, “she was a tiny Bolivian woman who happened to be 10 pounds of crazy in a 5 pound bag. We were working with her for about a year trying to track down a group of drug dealers responsible for her father’s death. Tried to kill Clay three times while they were dating. Tried to kill me once, actually shot me once. To be fair to her, we did kinda blow up her father and his compound. Although he was one of the biggest cocaine suppliers in the country. Clay made sure to check that one out. Turned out he decided not work for Hydra anymore. Still overall not a nice person. And neither was his daughter. She still scares me.”

There was another moment of silence then Steve said, “Actually sounds a lot like Natasha.”

Sam made noise of disbelief. Then he seemed to reconsider and nod. “At least she never tried to kill you Steve.”

“I never slept with her either,” he pointed out. “Though Clint would have gotten to me first if I tried.”

“I still need to meet him,” Sam said.

“I’m sure you will soon enough,” Steve opened the book back up. “He’ll probably meet Jake at the same time. That should be interesting.”

 

Jensen wasn’t bluffing when he said he knew Winter Soldier. Sure they weren’t best buddies but you don’t work close to a decade without picking up on things. Soldier’s favorite words to him were ‘Shut up’, he would tap his knife on him metal arm when he was bored and would start head bobbing to an upbeat song. He also reacted to certain code words which were to be used sparingly.  Jensen also stumbled across other phrases that could work to get Soldier’s attention. The most useful was ‘Buck up’, which looking back made perfect sense now.

“In the past he’s gone to flop houses and Army centers,” Jensen circled locations on a map. “In the past it made sense because they said he was a war vet with brain damage. Which is true to a point. Still when his programming breaks he goes for places with familiar elements. He also tended toward New York but he’d avoid that due to all the attention in the area.”

“Do you have any idea where he’d head next?” Steve was sitting at the table with him Sam cooked not far away in the hotel’s kitchen. Sam was working on steak, potatoes and had threatened salad on them. Steve had the Winter Soldier files open on his side while Jensen looked at Bucky’s service record.

“He’ll stay to the East. Coastal and Northern if possible but he rarely goes inland. You’ll see him go abroad before he crosses the Mississippi.”  He pulled a map out for Virginia.

“How likely is it he’d go leave the country or has already left?” Steve looked up from the files concerned.

“Unlikely,” Jensen said around the pen cap he was chewing on, “Flying is out. We only traveled with military aircraft. And he has a metal arm so no commercial airlines. Boats wouldn’t be a good option either. Enclosed space, no easy escape and enemies everywhere? Yeah he wouldn’t risk it so soon.”

Steve let out a sigh of relief, “Well, that’s one less thing to worry about.”

“Yes, thank god for the metal arm.” Jensen said dryly.

Sam snorted in the kitchen. “So we’ve narrowed down our search to not most of the world,” he set a plate down in front of each of them, “I swear that less pessimistic than it sounded.” Jensen rolled his eyes as Sam continued. “Let’s set the notes down. Eat up and give your minds a break. You can work on finding Buck for hours but the food will get cold.”

Steve and Jensen cleared the table of paper work. Neither of them protested the interruption mostly because they had been smelling the food cooking for almost an hour. He just threw the files on the floor next to him while Steve carefully placed his files on bed behind him. Sam placed a salad bowl in the middle of the table as the other two moved to make space for another chair. It appeared Sam was dedicated to making sure not every meal they consumed on the road was from a drive thru or diner. No one complained, especially since he managed to cook enough for Steve’s accelerated metabolism.

“I’m gonna grab seconds,” Steve said as he stood, “Jake, Sam, you guys want me to grab you anything while I’m up?”

“Nah,” Jensen said before shoving a bit of potato into his mouth.

“I’m good,” Sam held up a hand.

Steve sat back down with plate full of meat and starch. The first time Jensen had seen Steve eat he’d nearly choked in disbelief. Now he’d grown accustomed to the giant piles of food the man made disappear.

“Hey Steve,” Sam said before the other man could start eating.

“Yeah?”

“How come you call Jensen ‘Jake’?” Sam asked. Jensen raised an eyebrow.

“Because it’s his name,” Steve said slowly almost as if he was asking a question.

“This is true, it is my name,” Jensen added in a mock serious voice.

Sam chuckled, “Man I know it’s your name. One of the first things you said to me though was everybody called you Jensen. That’s why I’ve been calling you it despite the fact it keeps making me think of an actor on a show my little sister watches.”

Jensen tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. Okay, when you put it like that it got him a little curious about why Steve called him Jake.

“I’m not gonna call my brother by his last name, even if he has a different one,” Steve said with a casual shrug.

Jensen stopped eating and swallowed slowly. Despite that he still had some go down the wrong pipe and coughed.

“You okay there?” Sam asked looking concerned.

“Yeah,” he said in between coughs, “Just trying to choke down some emotions.”

“You know this is a safe place right?” Some humor crept back into Sam’s voice. “Can just let out dude.”

“Screw you,” Jensen pushed his chair and laughed as he fought back another cough. He chanced a glance at Steve who looked content and pleased with himself. Once the coughing subsided he addressed Sam. “Ya know, you can call me Jake too.”

“Eh,” he shrugged, “I’m already in the habit.”

 


	4. I scream, you scream. Wait why are you screaming?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally progress is made. Despite everyone's best efforts against it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title actually has very little to do with the chapter I just thought it was funny.

Usually the three of them stuck close together. At the beginning it was a lack of trust regarding Jensen. Then, possibly despite Steve and Sam’s better judgment, they chose to trust him and it was more about watching each other’s backs. Or that’s what they said out loud. The secondary reason for staying together had only been presented when Sam had come back from grocery shopping to find Steve and Jensen fighting over something. Neither would admit what started the wrestling match but Sam had found the remote to the tv in the bathroom.

Now however Steve was going on an evening run alone leaving Sam and Jensen. Sam had pled lack of superhuman ability to recover from their morning run. Jensen had pled not wanting to run, period. Steve shrugged and headed off into the night.

For the first few minutes they sat in the motel comfortably ignoring each other. Sam was channel surfing through static and Jensen had his laptop out trying to get familiar with another program. After a moment Sam turned off the tv and stood up to stretch.

“What you up to Jen?” He asked as he moved closer to the twin bed Jensen was sitting on.

“Stuff,” Jensen looked up from the laptop.

“Vague,” was the reply.

“Accurate.”

“Really?”

“Indeed.”

“Interesting.”

“Very.”

Sam paused before he started laughing. He just shook his head and closed the laptop.

“What’s up,” Jensen said as he moved the laptop to a side table.

“Nothing man,” Sam shrugged, “Just wanted to talk.”

“You mean there was nothing to watch.”

“Exactly,” Sam smiled.

Jensen just rolled his eyes. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Anything,” Sam shrugged and sat down on the other twin bed, “Just trying to get to know you some more.”

“Hello, my name is Jacob Jensen. I’m a Capricorn and I enjoy long walks in freezer section of grocery stores.”

“I know,” Sam said, “I saw your love affair with ice cream. Which is odd considering you spent a good part of your life inside a freezer.”

“Do not underestimate the power of Ben and Jerry’s,” he said seriously.

“True, true,” he nodded, “but what about when you were a kid? Heck even when you were working with Bucky. You talk a lot but I still don’t know a lot about you.”

Jensen paused and looked at Sam. “Well, it’s,” he began, “Not much to talk about. Don’t remember much of my childhood. Other than the fact I was the only kid at military school who had a rescue inhaler. At least I thought it was military school, turns out it was Hydra’s mini evil training academy. They also took a lot of tests which I thought was to fix my asthma, which they kinda did. Turns out that was all to try and make a better clone. Actually a large amount of my life makes a whole lot more sense now.”

“Damn,” Sam let out a low whistle.

“Yeah,” Jensen let his head fall back, “Got very lucky, never made a better version which pretty much saved my life. Read through the files. Most of them died before they were even through gestation. Rest died in early childhood. The files said that either the DNA sample was corrupted or the super soldier serum did something to make it not clone friendly.”

“How’d you end up with Bucky then?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “Probably a mix of things. ‘Hey he looks like the guy who used to best friends with our programmed assassin. Let’s see how this turns out,’ seems to be part of it. Other part was probably my high kill rate.”

Sam straightened abruptly, “Excuse me?”

“Which part?”

“The kill rate,” he explained, “I mean I heard about it but I just have a hard time seeing it.”

Jensen scratched the back of his head, “Yeah I was best at midrange combat but worked well as a spotter. Ya know, despite the glasses. It was a nice escape from having to do regular missions.”

“How old were you when you started doing missions that involved killing people?” Sam raised an eyebrow.

“About fifteen,” Jensen said casually.

Sam sat there in shock for a moment, “How did that not mess you up?”

“I thought it was normal,” he explained, “Which I guess is messed up all on its own.”

“Yeah,” Sam breathed out, “that’s. Wow.”

“You’re not gonna go all weird on me are you?” Jensen sat up slightly.

“No. Well maybe a little.” Sam shrugged, “It’s like when I learned Natasha could kill me with an afterthought. Might take me a bit but I’ll get over it.”

“Thanks.”

“Seriously though, doesn’t affect you at all?” Sam asked.

“I have the same response to dropping an ice cream cone.”

“That’s messed up dude.”

“Pretty much yeah.”

There was another pause then Sam said, “Maybe wait on telling Steve about the ice cream killing people comparison.”

“Waaaaay ahead of you,” Jensen grabbed the laptop, “wanna watch netflixs?”

“Sounds good,” Sam said, “I can make some popcorn.”

“Sweet!” Jensen smiled. Sam smiled back but still looked slightly concerned.

 

“Well shit.” Put it to Sam to put the whole situation into perspective with just two words. Elation because they somehow managed to discover what little hole in the Eastern United States that Bucky was hiding in. Concern, in that in spite of preparation they’ve had along with the time and effort they’ve put forth it’s never the same as actually facing the situation. And lastly the horrible realization that they now had to actually go face Bucky, who might try and kill them.

The likelihood of such goes up when you take the fact two of the people in the group he tried very hard to kill the last time he saw him. The third person was part of the organization that was controlling him since the Cold War. Plus the Third looks a hell of a lot like one of the other two. And Bucky may be having a mental break down. No pressure right?

Using Jensen’s history, Steve’s and an algorithm from a friend of Natasha’s they’d found Bucky in a rundown hostel in North Carolina. It had a nice view of the beach in an area where the police showed up to calls in thirty minutes. Once they confirmed it was Bucky going in and out of the building they spent three hours trying to figure out how to approach the building let alone the man.

“Okay so,” Sam was sitting in the driver’s seat pointed toward the hostel. “We wait until the hostel is mostly empty. Then what?”

Steve sat in the passenger seat with binoculars. “Then we go in.”

“Right,” Sam tapped the wheel, “How do we do that exactly?” Jensen looked up from the laptop in the backseat.

Without moving his eyes from hostel, “I do not know.”

“At least we are in a place of honesty,” Jensen deadpanned. Steve finally broke focus to turn around and flick Jensen in the ear. “OW!”

Steve turned back to watching the hostel, “I’m still working on it.”

“I have faith in you Steve,” Sam said seriously.

“I have faith in you too Steve,” Jensen said slightly less seriously.

“I will flick you again Jacob.”

“Of course you will.”

They were quiet for a few more minutes. “I think only one of us should go in.”

Sam glared at Steve and said, “Yes, because that makes perfect sense.”

“I’m on the side of the snarky black man,” Jensen said raising a hand.

Steve sighed loudly, “We don’t want to overwhelm him. Plus we don’t want to confuse him further. All of us showing up will only put him further on edge.”

Sam groaned, “Stop using logic.”

“Don’t worry, I only use it sparingly,” Steve said. “We’ll track movement in and out of the hostel for a few days then move in. Jake, can get access to any of the local cameras?”

“Not that up to modern tech,” Jensen pulled a black bag out of the truck, “but we can set up some of our own cameras.” He pulled some of the miniature cameras.

Sam held out a hand and Jensen dropped a camera in it. Sam examined the camera, “Pros and cons?”

“Can put them were ever we want. But they have a shorter battery life and someone can hack into our feed,” he explained.

“Any way to secure the feed?” Steve asked.

“Yes, three more months with just me and a laptop,” Jensen clarified.

“Sound like a risk we can take?” Sam asked looking at Steve.

“Compared to having three men sitting in a car for days on end? Yes, we’ll just keep an eye on the feed,” Steve lowered the binoculars, “We just move on this before anyone else gets a chance.”

“Alright, tell me where to put the cameras,” Sam said.

 

In the end they set up eight cameras which they watched in shifts for two days in a motel down the road. They all made notes on a pad next to the computer of movements and kept their ears to the ground about any suspicious activity. If not doing one of those or eating they were sleeping. Jensen volunteered to take the night shifts, staying awake through training, focus and several cans of energy drinks. He reviewed the notes in the mornings with Sam and Steve to see if there were any blips in the radar. He also stayed up an extra few hours to talk with them or check the camera system. Hence the need for energy drinks. On the morning of the third day Steve said he was making his move that afternoon. He was going in alone with Sam nearby as back up. Jensen was going to sleep. He’d tried to argue that they needed someone to watch the cameras. Steve made a good point that being sleep deprived and wired on caffeine wouldn’t benefit anyone. That point was half made by Jensen slurring his argument. In the end he gave the pair of them a thumbs up before collapsing on a bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a lot of fun to work on. The farther I get in though the more I worry about my characterizations of the characters from The Losers. I think I'm to far in though to go back. Much to far. I can't stop. Jensen is holding my brain hostage.


	5. We have got to stop meeting like this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen needs new friends.
> 
> Oh look! Hello new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to start giving the chapter titles a thought.

Jensen opened his eyes and the first thing he noticed was the ceiling was different. He decided right than that he would have to reevaluate his life choices. Actually no, he had to reevaluate other people’s life choices because he had never thought it was a good idea to transport people in their sleep. Then again given his past dealing with people was a bit more death related so he can’t get claim moral high ground there.

He sat up and looked around the room. The walls were a light olive that reminded him a bit of his military gear and the room lacked decoration. There was a bed, dresser and side table, not much else. On a more exciting personal note he was still fully clothed. On a more horrible personal note they smelled horrible because he’d been wearing them for 2 days straight before being abducted.

Instead of pitying himself for stuck in his own stench Jensen stood up and tried the door. It was locked. That shouldn’t have surprised him but after the past two wake ups it seemed like it was time for him to be served a continental breakfast. He jiggled the handle a few times. After that he checked the molding and saw it had been redone. Either someone was crafty or someone reinforce their doors. Jensen didn’t want to risk throwing his shoulder out trying to break down the door. He walked over to the window. Outside he could see the sun through the trees around the building. That meant it was still somewhat early. At least his sleep cycle wasn’t flipped anymore. The windows were thicker than normal glass and had a sensor attached. Jensen let out a sigh and walked back over to door. His options were limited and he didn’t know who had grabbed him. He started shaking the handle on the door. When in doubt he can still be amused and annoy his captors at the same time.

He’d been at the door for a few minutes when there suddenly resistance on the other side. “You can stop that now,” he heard from the other side.

Jensen paused, “Clay?”

The lock clicked and the door swung outward. Clay was standing in the hall in jeans and a button up shirt. Jensen raised an eyebrow at his outfit and five o clock shadow. Very different from when they worked together in Army/actually Hydra. His former CO crossed his arms and returned the eyebrow. He was about to speak when Jensen reached out and poked his check.

“Jensen, what are you doing?” He asked slowly.

“Just checking.”

Clay uncrossed his arms, “Checking what exactly?”

Jensen shrugged, “There was SHEILD tech that mimicked people’s face.”

“Something about my face make you think it wasn’t mine?”

“You look like a TV dad,” Jensen said.

 “I’m deciding to take that as a complement.” Clay sighed, “Bathroom’s down the hall. There’s a toothbrush and shower, use them. Laid out some sweats for you to use so we can burn your shirt.”

Jensen looked at his shirt. It was light pink with grease stains at the bottom. “It doesn’t need to be burned!”

“Yes it does,” Clay said as he walked away, “It’s pink.”

“Pink is a very masculine color,” he yelled back.

“No, it’s not,” Clay said as he went down the stairs. “Besides you have 50 of them. We can sacrifice one to Hades.”

 

Turned out Clay wasn’t kidding about burning the shirt. It was retrieved from the bathroom floor and thrown into a fire in the living room. When he tried to protest Clay said he did his best to keep his promises. If he could find Jensen frozen after a decade, he would burn the shirt.

“So why am I in your home?” Jensen asked, “I’m operating under the assumption it wasn’t just to burn my clothing.”

“This isn’t my home,” Clay began but Jensen raised an eyebrow and looked at him doubtfully, “It’s a safe house.” Jensen continued the look. “Okay it’s a vacation home.”

“You have a vacation home?” He paused, “You have the money for a vacation home?”

“No, my wife does.”

Jensen paused again. “You’re married?”

“Yes,” Clay said, “As you said before, I’m old now. Old people tend to be married.”

“But who in their right mind would say yes to marry you? How many times has she tried to kill you?” he asked exacerbated.

Clay laughed, “Several times but that was before we got married.”

“Wait,” he held up a hand, “wait. Do I know this person?”

“Vaguely.” Clay said a bit to calmly.

Jensen felt an eye twitch, “I need a drink.”

“It’s 8 am.”

“I still need a drink.”

Clay sighed but headed into the kitchen. “I’ll get you some orange juice.”

“With vodka,” Jensen mumbled. “Lots and lots of vodka. Wait, have you guys spawned?!”

 

There was no vodka. Even with the amount of eggs and bacon piled on his plate he could not forgive Clay for this. He was re-kidnapped and his CO was married to the woman that had aimed a gun at his crotch. It had been traumatizing. Many would say he was overreacting and he chose to ignore them.

“So why did you kidnap me exactly?” Jensen said while he chewed on bacon. “I was with Captain America. My first plan of attack, instead I would have gone with no attack. Maybe talking cause I could have done that.”

“He was using you to find the Winter Soldier,” Clay said angry. “I had a former SHEILD contact locate and extract you from the situation.”

“I have been kidnapped by two different agents from SHIELD. If I get 8 more do I get a free smoothie?”

“You’re being awfully flippant about this,” he growled.

Jensen dropped his silverware and sighed, “I’m sorry sir. It’s been a hard few weeks and I haven’t made bad jokes to your face for a while.”

“I know, I’ve just been,” Clay cut himself off, “You fell out of contact, and then I find out you’re in the hands of some of the people we were trying to avoid. My contact had to wait until you were alone to ensure you weren’t picked up again.”

“I tried, or rather I thought about trying,” Jensen said, “but you had this thing about radio silence and then I had no way of contacting. I don’t know who to keep my message secure so I just, well waited it out.”

“They dragged you around looking for a weapon of HYDRA.”

“Still infinitely better than working in tech support,” he shrugged, “and they fed me.”

“I feed you,” Clay sounded slightly offended.

“Then you know how effective it works on me.”

“So the way to your loyalty is through your stomach?” He leaned back. “Comforting.”

Jensen looked him straight in the eye, “I would sell you out for a pint of gelato.”

“Comforting,” he repeated. “Good thing Cougar is still around if you get any sugar fueled ideas.”

“What the hell is a Cougar?”

 

Carlos “Cougar” Alvarez was a person, a sniper, and Jensen’s new victim. The last one was Clay’s description, he preferred friend. Cougar just seemed mildly amused, which was better than the last sniper’s reaction to his personality. Less growling and threats of murder, still just as quiet. Quiet meant there was lovely, lovely silence to fill.

He’d managed to get some information out of Cougar. Mostly it was about his career at S.H.E.I.L.D. and work in the Rangers. Outside of his awesome hat and tendency to lapse into Spanish he didn’t give much away about himself. Which was completely unfair given how much Cougar knew about Jensen from stalking him.

If anything talking to the Sniper distracted him from being trapped in another house. Clay refused to let him leave or try to contact Steve or Sam. Lack of security was his reasoning. Something about Jensen already being kidnapped twice since his defrosting. It’s becoming a running “not really that funny, this is your life Jensen” joke.

“Please, just let me let them know I’m okay,” he asked again. “They’re basically in the same situation as you were when they grabbed I me from St. Louis.”

“And I spent over a month thinking you were recaptured by HYDRA or dead,” Clay turned a page in his book, “They can survive the same. If we’re lucky you never have to deal with them again.”

Jensen straightened, “No. I’m going to contact them. I have to. You grabbed me right as they were going to meet Bucky! Me disappearing isn’t going to help the situation.”

“Which is another reason why you should not go back. The Winter Soldier powder keg next to a match,” Clay said.

“I just want them to know I’m safe,” he protested.

“You are safe. If we’re lucky they’ll think you just took the opportunity to run.”

“I could barely stand let alone stage an escape,” Jensen rolled his eyes.

“Like I said lucky,” Clay said, “besides they have bigger issues to deal with. Winter Psycho and that all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of Cougar talking in his chapter. It's taken me a bit to figure how to write for him. So he will be back and more verbose in the future.


	6. Cabin in the woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of these days Jensen will have control over his life decisions. 
> 
> Yeah, no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this. I got a tad bit sick resulting in sleep and cold meds.

Jensen had been held in the Clay family guest prison for 8 days when something finally happened. Of course this being his life, gunfire was involved. It was just about 3 in the afternoon when the first shots rang out. Jensen was in the kitchen and almost removed a finger.

“Jesus Christ!” He dropped the knife and ducked out of view of the window. “Was that one of us?!”

“NO,” Clay yelled from upstairs, “Stay down until I can get a hold of Cougar!”

“Nearest gun?!”

“Under the sink! In the fake drain cleaner!” Then the sound of doors slamming. “They don’t appear to be aiming at the house yet!”

Jensen crawled to the sink under all lines of sight. As he opened the door there was another short burst gun fire. There were three containers of drain cleaner which begged for a joke but his mind was more focused on finding which of the containers held a weapon. Only one was actually drain cleaner. The other two had the promised gun and a grenade. The grenade was a surprise.

He put the grenade in his back pocket and adjusted the gun until it set comfortably in his grip. There hadn’t been another series of gun fire in a few seconds. Either the threat was dealt with or someone was waiting. Erring to side of caution he stayed in a crouch as he moved toward the hallway.

“Word back from Cougar?” He yelled as he cleared a corner.

“Not yet,” Clay sounded closer, “He hasn’t radioed back. You get into the basement. If I’m not down in 15 minutes or someone tries to force their way in there is a tunnel that will take you 5 miles out.”

Jensen moved in the direction of Clay’s voice, “Your vacation home has a secret escape tunnel?!”

“It was Aisha’s idea,” he said flatly as Jensen came up beside him.

Jensen briefly forgot the stress of the situation and looked at him flatly. “Of course it was.”

“Shut up and get downstairs, the door is under the rug in front of the fireplace.” Clay said as he checked his handgun. Jensen was about to argue when the radio in Clay’s front pocket let out a crackle. He froze as Clay grabbed it with his free hand and held it closer to his ear.

There was another crackle before a female voice came through, “We have your man. Surrender and he won’t be hurt.”

The voice was calm and almost monotone and Jensen recognized it immediately. Clay didn’t appear too. His CO pressed the side button and started yelling, “You listen to me! If you hurt him the pain you will face-HEY!“

He glared as Jensen pulled the radio out of his hands. Jensen sent a look of apology before talking into the device, “Sorry Natasha he’s just protective. Please don’t hurt Cougar. Or me.”

There was silence for a moment and Clay mouthed ‘Natasha’. Jensen gave a weak shrug of apology. Then Natasha spoke again, “Jensen.”

“Yeah,” he cringed a little.

“I’m going to have confirm that it is you talking-“

“You tazed me in the back of the head and I find you terrifying.”

“That actually describes a lot of people in my life mini Steve,” she said flatly but he got the feeling she might have been holding back a laugh.

“I’m not mini. I’m 3 inches taller than the average male,” Jensen said, “It’s not my fault Captain America is a giant among us. Oh! You made a joke about ‘going commando’ because I said I didn’t wear underwear and Steve said he hated you.”

Clay looked horrified but it was quickly over taken by his sad acceptance of Jensen’s idea of professional demeanor. He had no sympathy for the older man because let’s face it, he didn’t know nearly as many dirty jokes until Clay started training him. If anyone was to blame for Jensen’s bad behavior it was Clay. Okay, Clay and an antiauthoritarian streak brought on by puberty.

The radio came to life again with Natasha’s laugh. “Yeah,” she said after calming down, “That was a good one. Steve’s face, that was great.”

The look of disbelief on Clay’s face made him feel better about being shot at. Jensen shrugged and smiled. The lack of death impending death did wonders for his mood.

“I’ll be there in a bit,” She continued, “have to carry your man in.”

“Did you taze him in the head too?”

There was a pause, “Maybe.” Then there was a click of the radio turning off.

Jensen and Clay stared at the radio for a moment then Clay broke concentration to look around. He and Clay got out of their crouch they had been holding. They stretched out but neither of them put away their guns.

“She’s carrying in Cougar herself,” Clay said carefully, “That means she’s alone.”

“No shooting,” Jensen said quickly. His ex-CO crossed his arms with an annoyed look.

 

It took a few minutes but Natasha knocked on the front door with a rifle swung over her shoulder, a tarp hat on her head, and Cougar in a fireman’s carry. Clay held the door open and she strolled in somehow avoiding hitting the sniper’s head with the doorframe.

“Where do want him?” She asked, sounding bored like when she had first met Jensen. She also didn’t appear as tired as he had expect a tiny woman that carried a man for several. Jensen waved her into the sitting room and she set Cougar down on a beige couch. Natasha set the rifle next the couch just out of reach. He raised an eyebrow at her placement.

“He’ll feel safer with it there,” she explained, “and if he does try and go for me it gives me enough time to hide behind you.”

“So glad to hear you still think highly of me,” Jensen smiled.

“We all have our uses Mini Steve,” she said flatly. He silently accepted his horrible new nickname and quickly for topic change. Thankfully Natasha had one on top of her head.

“Nice look,” Jensen smirked as she repositioned Cougar on the couch. Natasha raised an eyebrow before she looked up at the hat she forgot she was wearing. She pulled off the hat and dropped it on Cougar’s head.

“Not really my style,” she said as she discreetly observed the room.

Jensen stepped forward, “Can I give you a hug? I want to give you a hug.”

“Uh,” Natasha paused confused, “okay?”

Jensen leaned down and hugged her. She awkwardly patted him on the back in return. In the doorway to the kitchen Clay made an exaggerated ‘What the hell’ gesture. Jensen just smiled when he stood back without a sharp instrument in his body.

“What happened to being terrified of her?” Clay asked.

“Oh I still am, just missed her.” He said as he took a step back.

“I’ll tell Aisha you’re hugging now.”

Jensen’s eyes widened, “Don’t you dare.”

“She’ll be very happy to hear,” Clay continued.

“Your death will be long painful and still look like an accident.”

Natasha sat down in one of the arm chairs. “I don’t have enough context for this conversation but I have to admit this is amusing.”

Clay turned his attention back to her. “I feel like we should be slightly more concerned about your being here, but I believe if you had any particularly nefarious plans we’d be in pain already.”

Natasha shrugged.

“I’m guessing Steve called you,” Jensen said as sat on the arm of the couch Cougar was unconscious on.

“He wanted to come himself but he and Sam had their hands full,” She explained.

Jensen sat up, “Are they okay?”

Natasha quickly waved it off, “Their fine, just very busy for the first few days. I think it was mostly Sam trying to keep Steve from panicking and taking off after you.”

“Yeah,” he scrubbed the back of his head, “That was Cougar and Clay, but still sorry.”

“I take full responsibility with no regrets,” Clay said sagely, “just making sure your safe.”

“Yes, everybody is just trying to keep me cozy,” Jensen groaned.

“Well your track record so far has been spectacular,” Natasha chimed in.

He sat up, “I’ll have you know I was perfectly fine on my own. For most of my life. It wasn’t until the whole HYDRA thing. So really I blame all of you.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, got up out of her chair and walked to the kitchen. Despite not trusting her Clay turned to join her. There was the sound of glasses clanking together and the fridge opening.

“Why is it the people that claim to want my safety revel in my misery?” Jensen asked no one in particular.

“Eh, la señora está loca”

Jensen’s head snapped to the couch. Cougar looked completely unmoved, his face hidden by the hat. He grabbed the toe of the sniper’s boot and wiggled it back and forth. “How long have you been awake?”

“About five minutes before the Widow knocked on the door,” Cougar said, still not moving.

“And you didn’t tell her…why?”

Cougar finally reached up to remove the hat, “Only one loco person allowed at a time. Besides she’d just knock me out again.”

Jensen paused before saying, “Alright I see your point there.”

Cougar just winked and dropped the hat back on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In other news! COUGAR FINALLY SPEAKS!. Not much but hey, I consulted a Spanish Translator person for half of those lines.


	7. One the road again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> First of all. Super late and super short update.
> 
> Basically here's the story. I ran out of buffer and was going to a job for 2 weeks with limited net access. I decided to take the USB my fics (and knitting patterns) are on to work on so I didn't run out of buffer again. About 3 days in my USB disappeared, either lost or stolen. 
> 
> Thankfully I had sent an update to my beta before I left so I didn't lose everything. 
> 
> Here is my offering of apology and stalling for time until the next update.
> 
> Take care all!

He wasn't sure what Clay was more upset about: Jensen going with Natasha to regroup with Steve or that he had to call Aisha to tell her their vacation had been compromised. Jensen could hear the Mrs. Clay yelling over the phone about how hard it was about hard it was to find a nice house with escape tunnels and about how they had just remodeled the kitchen. Clay just rubbed his temple and supplied the occasional ‘yes dear’ until his wife vaguely threatened Natasha before hanging up. Natasha had told them she hadn't shared the vacation/safe house location with anyone but apparently the fact it been found at all was a deal breaker for the pair.

Jensen’s departure from the house was slightly delayed by Clay’s insistence he was going with him. He said he was traveling to make sure Natasha’s story held up and that the recovered Bucky wasn't going to kill Jensen on sight. Jensen thought he was overreacting but the Black Widow but she just shrugged.

“I have more important things to worry about,” she said as they packed up a duffle bag of food.

“Such as?”

“Hydra, aliens,” she zipped up the bag, “the impending zombie apocalypse.”

Jensen blinked at her, “I’m not sure if you’re joking about that last one.”

“It’s a joke until it happens,” Natasha said with a smile.

“And the likelihood of that happening is?” He asked as he grabbed the bag off the table to put in Clay’s SUV.

She paused for a moment like she was processing something. Then she said, “Significantly higher than it was five years ago.”

“Wow, that does absolutely nothing to comfort me.” Jensen said flatly.

“Anyone that tries to comfort you usually wants something,” she picked her own pack off the ground and stuffed in a few energy bars.

 Jensen’s eyebrows shot up and for a second he got very concerned. Once that second passed he felt vaguely annoyed. He carried the bag out through a side door into the garage muttering about paranoid Russian spies as he went.

Clay had one of those newer SUV with all of bells and whistles. The GPS and emergency response systems had been gutted shortly after purchase. Which made Jensen question buying a new car instead of an older model that didn't have to be internally remodeled. Clay countered that they already had to reinforce the frame, replace the glass and Aisha wanted the best airbags on the market. If they were going to do that they were going to get review cameras, a trunk sensor and dvd player. Jensen then remembered he never got an answer if they pair have them had bred. Clay avoided answering again and in retaliation Jensen had taken to only opening the trunk of the SUV with the foot sensor. It got him nothing but a sense of irrational satisfaction.

“You really need to stop doing that,” Natasha said from behind him.

Jensen hid his startled jump with a laugh, “And you need to stop sneaking up behind people. Yet we know neither of us are going to stop.”

He turned to grab her bag just in time to see the end of her shrug. Jensen put the bags carefully in the back along with the other bags.

Natasha looked over the other items in the trunk, “Tell me again why Cougar is coming with us.”

“Because, and I quote, again, ‘I have nothing better to do’,” Jensen said as he closed the trunk.

“Why the hell would someone agree to go to go on a road trip into possibly dangerous situations because they have nothing better to do?” Natasha asked as she shook her head. “Nobody does that.”

“Sam Wilson.”

Natasha opened her mouth to say something, then closed it, then said, “Okay I see your point.”

 

Riding with Clay, Natasha and Cougar was very different then his road trip with Steve and Sam. First of all the radio was Clay’s domain, a domain filled with whatever classic rock station came in the clearest. Jensen was sure he’d heard “Dirty Deeds” over a hundred times by the end of the three day trip. They started in South Dakota because that’s where they were. Why South Dakota, well according to Clay that’s where you can buy nice houses from doomsday prepers.

There wasn't much talking either. Clay and Jensen had done their catching up while he’d been under house arrest. Natasha seemed more interested in reading her files but occasionally talked to the other occupants of the vehicle about random things. Cougar spent most of the ride sleeping so he could watch during the night, which further discouraged conversation.

 As a result Jensen mostly stayed on his laptop and worked on coding. He got bored about two hours in but continued on. The drive was uneventful except when Jensen couldn't figure out why his code wasn’t working. He pulled out a rubber duck and quietly explained what he was working on until he found the issue. This ended with Jensen screaming in frustration, his laptop almost broken and the duck out the window, on the freeway. The three other individuals in the vehicle, having no idea what had just happened pulled guns out of places he did not want to know. Once it was clear that they weren't under attack Jensen’s laptop was banned for the rest of the trip.

When Jensen asked if they could stop and grab another duck he was meet with a chorus of NO’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep promising my Beta Bucky soon. She says I'm lying.
> 
> I'm not lying.
> 
> It's just our definitions of "soon" are different.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be 2 chapters, is unbetaed, and 6 months late but at least I'm finally getting it up!

As they reached the meeting point, Natasha and Clay started to get tense. They had mostly gotten past their mutual distrust and focused on what was waiting for them. Clay was talking about contingency plans in case the Soldier reacted violently. Natasha filled them all in what little she’d seen of Barnes before she went out to find Jensen. According to her he was quiet, moody, and on guard but much better when he was first discovered as the Winter Soldier. Steve had latched onto him with the enthusiasm of a barnacle that Sam could only loosen occasionally.  Despite the sudden and constant attention Barnes was calm around Steve and recovered more of his memories than they had estimated.

 

This was handy when Steve and Sam came back to a motel to find Jensen missing. Barnes hadn’t been with them because they wanted Jensen as prepped for the meeting  well. Natasha said that turned out for the best because Steve had a minor freak out. According to Natasha the description of “minor” in and of itself was a compromise between Sam and Steve. Steve said he approached the situation tactically. Sam said he had  fallen to the ground dramatically and cry. Either way it didn’t improve the situation when it became apparent Jensen didn’t leave under his own power.  Again descriptions of actual events vary.

Natasha had said Steve called her babbling about the spot he’d found himself in. He wanted to go looking that instant for Jensen but they’d just found Bucky. Sam offered to look for Jensen on his own but the concern at the time had been that Hydra had grabbed the clone and Steve refused to let Sam go alone. After a 50 minute phone call on speaker Natasha decided to take a break from her own grand adventure to look into Jensen’s disappearance.

Barnes’ apparently served as a good distraction during the days Jensen’s location was unknown. The not Winter Soldier spent a lot of time comparing memories with Steve. As they checked for inconstancies Sam kept them both comfortable and made sure the soldiers didn’t regress or throw things out of windows.

Hearing about Barnes was nice to break up the monotony of the car ride. Clay was in his military mood was focused on an op, in this case meeting Captain America and other unknown assets. They had known the Winter Soldier, but under conditions that were controlled and heavily observed. Clay was concerned, and Jensen too but he never talked about it. While Barnes was vaguely happy with his bestie Clay was concerned how he would react to former handlers. Saying they would be fine to meet and actually meeting, Clay was skeptical. Something Clay mentioned in his discussion with Nat.

They talked about best methods of approach and if they should have Cougar perched nearby. In the end they decided Nat would make the initial approach to the group, and then Clay would assess the situation. After that was cleared, Jensen and finally Cougar would meet the other group.

While they spoke Jensen had to face the fact that he was actually going to see Barnes again. He had agreed to help Steve find his old friend and when Clay had “rescued” Jensen he had wanted to get back to Steve and Sam. It had been like an adventure, something he came to wanted to do instead of another mission. Kinda like the time Clay took him camping back when he was working for the not-Army.

Now he was going to be within the same space as the Winter Soldier or Bucky Barnes. Who could kill him completely unarmed. Even without the metal arm. He could kill Jensen with normal hands. Probably no hands. Yeah Barnes could kill him with no hands. So now he was worrying about Bucky killing him with no hands. Maybe he’d die by flying kick to the head. Or maybe he’d just glare him to death. Jensen would just slowly die on the inside. Spontaneously lighting Jensen on fire with the power of his mind was another option. Hydra was working on stuff like that right? Even if they weren’t Jensen was sure Barnes would figure out a way to do that.

Oh crap he was gonna die horribly.

Not that he would really blame Barnes. Jensen had been responsible for handling Barnes on a number of assassinations. Sure he thought he was doing the good fight but he still known on some level they weren’t doing “good”. They killed people and Jensen had guided a weapon to its target. That didn’t sound like a thing a normal person would forgive easy.

 

After he resigned himself to his fate Jensen curled up into the door when there were an hour out. Natasha tried to get him to sit up for safety reasons. He groaned and curled up further. Jensen heard her sigh and mutter to herself. A few seconds later there someone pat him on the back, Jensen suspected Cougar. Clay just said to give him time.

They pulled up to the coordinates Steve had given to Natasha and Jensen sat up. It was a park. Which seemed strange until Jensen thought about it being the middle of the day, during the week. Most people were either at work or school. Wide open space so hard to ambush.  Nice neutral ground. Or opportunity to be picked off by snipers. Or explosives. Yeah his mind was being all sorts of optimistic today.

Natasha and Clay gave each other a nod before she stepped out of the car. Clay exhaled loudly as she walked toward an empty table. “Oh yeah, we’re gonna have a fun one today,” Clay said. He reached back to rest a hand on Jensen’s leg, “We’ll be fine.” There was a pause, “If it’s not fine I’ll just shoot until it’s fine again.”

Jensen let out a tense laugh, “That is a horrible plan.”

“It’s an excellent plan,” Clay said, “It’s worked every time I used it so far.”

Outside another car pulled up and parked several spaces away. Jensen straightened up to get a better look. As he did his back protested ever being forced into a ball. He looked out the window just in time to see the lights of the black sedan turn off. There was no movement for several moments and he could feel Clay in the seat in front of him. Then the interior light turned on as someone opened the passenger side door. Jensen could vaguely see Sam in the passage seat turn to someone in the backseat while Steve walked toward the table Natasha was sitting on. Steve hugged Natasha who rolled her eyes and patted his back, but both of them were still tense.

“Well, there’s no shooting so far,” Jensen said as Steve and Natasha broke the hug.

Clay shifted in his seat, “It’s still early Jacob.”

“I wish I didn’t know you Clay,” Cougar spoke up, “cause then I could ask you if you were always this paranoid without it being a stupid question.”

“It would still be a stupid question Cougar,” Clay replied.

Before Cougar could respond Natasha turned away from Steve and made a ‘come here’ gesture. Clay grumbled as he got out of the car and shot Jensen a look of warning like Jensen was going to do something stupid as soon as he was out of the vehicle. Jensen threw his hands up in frustration because he wasn’t suddenly going to make bad choices just because of distance to a reasonable authority figure. Clay knew well enough he could have done something stupid while the man was still in the car.

“This should be interesting,” Cougar shifted in the seat next to him next to him.

Jensen snorted, “Your definition of interesting sounds like it may be different than mine.”

Clay walked up to the table with a stiff back. He stopped in front of Steve and the men nodded at each other. Steve spoke and Clay’s shoulders tensed. The super soldier then rubbed the back of his neck and looked frustrated. Clay poked Steve in the chest. Jensen was slightly impressed Steve didn’t lean backward.

Jensen looked at Cougar when the other man laughed. He raised an eyebrow, “What?”

“Your dad and your brother just met for the first time,” Cougar smiled, “That’s just out of order. And I think they are fighting over you.”

“Okay both of those concepts are kinda weird,” Jensen replied.

To the side he saw Sam get out of the sedan. Instead of approaching the table Sam just leaned against the side of the car. Jensen was watching him until Cougar nudged his arm and pointed out the wind shield. The group was looking at the SUV.

“Oh joy,” Jensen groaned.

Cougar gave him a mock salute as he climbed out of the car. Cougar got out on the other side and moved away from the group and to a table nearby. Jensen walked him go and then adjusted his glasses as he walked up to the table. Natasha, Clay, and Steve stood in a line that was just begging for a height joke. Somehow he resisted.

“Good afternoon,” Jensen waved, “I see everyone is still alive.”

“It continues to astound and amaze,” Natasha said dryly.

“Jake,” Steve nodded at him.

“Can we get the awkward talking and hugging out of the way? I don’t want to stand here all day,” Clay said after they started falling into silence.

Steve apparently took this an opportunity to reach out and drag Jensen into a bear hug. Jensen flailed and tried to get his arms in between himself and the attack-hugger’s chest. The result was a tighter hug and his glasses pressed into his face.

“Humans need oxygen, Steve,” he muttered.

“Learn something new everyday,” Steve said.

Jensen gave up and relaxed, “Can you let go now?”

“No, we are awkward hugging.”

“I hate you,” Jensen groaned. There was the click of a camera phone not far off and he heard Clay chuckle. “I hate you all.”

Steve thudded him on the back before he released him. “It is good to see you,” he said with a half smile, “You okay?”

“Well now that I’m free, I am,” Jensen said as he took a step backward and fixed his glasses. “How’s your side of the world been?”

“Better,” Steve said.

“Vague,” Jensen replied.

“He means now that he knows you and Bucky are safe he’s going to freak out less,” Natasha cut in. Steve gave her a disapproving look that didn’t carry much weight. Natasha than added, “We’re all pretty thankful. Steve cries ugly.”

“That feels more insulting than it sounds,” Steve said looking offended.

Clay rolled his eyes, “I can’t believe this is how a national icon and the world’s most dangerous woman talk to each other.”

“Is you illusion of Captain America forever ruined?” Natasha asked with amusement.

“No, the porn parody pretty much took care of that,” Clay answered with a smirk.

All heads snapped to Steve who turned tomato red and covered his face with a hand. “This is what I hate about being in the public domain,” Steve groaned as Jensen started to wheeze laughter. Off in the distance he could hear a “the hell” from Sam.

“You broke Captain America and his clone,” Natasha said, “Good job.”

Clay just shrugged, “Just give him a couple minutes. He’ll work it out of his system.”

Steve managed to return to his nature face color before Jensen stopped laughing. When he stood up he looked at the group. “Seriously though is Barnes gonna kill me?”

“Uh, no.” Steve tensed at the sudden topic change, “Bucky isn’t going to kill anyone. Not today and not any of us at least.”

“Okay,” Jensen nodded. “I may have had a bit of a freak out before we got here.”

“So that’s what you turning into a human ball was about?” Natasha asked in a way that told them she already knew the answer.

Steve seemed to pick up on the genuine concern Jensen had. “Bucky is not going to kill you. He’s a bit prickly but it’s bark instead of bite. He actually seemed excited to see you.”

“Really?” Jensen said flatly.

“For just breaking out of mind control version of excited. He sort of shrugged,” Steve shrugged, “He called you the human version of a white noise machine.”  

“Can he even tell the difference between the two of us?”

“Yes.”

“How do you know,” Jensen asked..

“He said the biggest difference is I need to stop to breath when I talk,” Steve crossed his arms, “and the glasses.”

“Alright then,” Jensen said and rocked on his feet.

“Do you want to go see him?” Steve asked.

“Yes.” Jensen didn’t move.

“Do you want to go see him now?”

“Maybe.”

“Jacob.”

“Are we forgetting the part where I used to kill people with him for Hydra?” Jensen threw his arms up into the air.

Steve appeared startled for a moment before his face went blank. “No, that must have slipped our minds.”

Jensen narrowed his eyes, “If only all of America knew how much of a little shit you are.”

“Tony keeps trying to tell people but no one believes him,” Natasha informed him.

“Do you want to at least want to say hi to Sam?” Steve tried.

“You are you just trying to get me closer to the car?”

“No, well yes,” Steve shrugged, “but Sam.”

“You know I was just kidding about the awkward hugging and talking, right?” Clay cut in.

Natasha shrugged, “But did you expect any less of them?”

The noise Clay let out was something close to disappointment and acceptance. Jensen had grown used to hearing it while Clay had been his CO.

“I’m gonna go say hi to Sam,” Jensen said and walked over to the sedan. Clay waved him on but still stood at attention.

“Mind telling what got you and Rogers all worked up?” Sam asked as soon as Jensen was close enough. He held his hand out to shake and when Jensen accepted, Sam pulled him into a half hug. It was thankfully shorter than Steve’s crush.

“My old CO may have mentioned the Captain Ameri-porn,” Jensen explained.

Sam looked mildly surprised, “Yeah that would do it.”

“Wait, have you seen it?” Jensen leaned forward.

“I was in the military,” Sam said.

“I’m sure that would make perfect sense if I was in the military, well the real military.” Jensen said.

Sam started shaking his head. “Nuh uh, I am not going to be the one to show you porn. You google that in your on spare time.”

“You think I watch porn in my spare time?”

“That’s when most people watch porn,” Sam replied then paused. “Why the hell are we talking about porn?”

“Because you asked what made Steve do a cherry impersonation. So it’s your fault,” Jensen smiled.

 “But you continued talking about it, so it’s your fault,” Sam countered. “Let’s talk about something else.”

Jensen glanced behind Sam, “Like the assassin in the car?”

“That is a topic change,” he nodded.

“Steve says he won’t kill me,” Jensen tilted his head.

“He won’t,” Sam said. “You know he can probably hear you, right?”

“I don’t think that changes my survival rate.”

“We had a long talk. Most of which was about the not killing,” Sam put a hand on his shoulder, “You’ll be fine.”

“Fine,” Jensen sighed.

“You know you don’t actually have to talk to him right? This is just us meeting up to figure out our next step,” Sam pointed his thumb toward Steve, Clay and Natasha who were still talking with each other.

“Yeah but I’ve already gotten this far,” he shrugged.

Sam shook his head and knocked on the window. There was movement inside the car and knock in return. Then Sam opened the door.

Barnes was leaning against the opposite door with his legs stretched across the bench seat. In his hands was a small paperback book and all his attention seemed to be on it. His face was fuller and there was more color in his face than Jensen had ever seen. But that wasn’t what really got his attention.

“What the hell is on your head?” Jensen asked.

Barnes just turned a page in his book and said, “I’m reconsidering that whole not killing you.”

“Seriously,” Jensen tilted his head, “what is on your head.”

“It’s a flower crown,” Sam answered.

Jensen straightened again and turned to Sam. “Why does he have a flower crown?” He turned back to Barnes, “Why do you have a flower crown?!”

Sam rolled his eyes. “He had one at the hostel. A Swedish tourist made him one and he wanted to keep it. After awhile it started going funky and didn’t want to get rid of it till I made him a new one.” 

“You made him a flower crown?” Jensen asked flatly.

“I have nieces,” Sam said seriously, “It’s a necessary skill.”

“And yet still scary,” Jensen mused.

“And yet still can’t shut up,” Barnes said without looking up.

“You knocked on the window dude,” Sam said, “You can stop trying to act all cool and relaxed.”

Barnes looked up and glared at Sam.

“I take it back, he lost the scary,” Jensen said.

“Sorry dude, it’s just hard to maintain fear with carnations and marigolds on your head,” Sam added.

Barnes eyed them again before he looked down at his book. He muttered under his breath and looked for his spot on the page.

“What are you reading?” Jensen leaned into the car.

Barnes sighed, closed the book and gave up trying to read. “Some wizard series. The girl at the book store recommended it.”

“You took him to a book store?” Jensen asked Sam.

“Yes, they did,” Barnes cut in, “they also let him pick his own food and clothing.”

Jensen blinked, “Uh, oh, sorry. Still getting used to the not killing me and full sentences. I keep expecting you to grunt in Russian and throw things at me.”

Barnes looked down at the book in his hands and back at Jensen. Then he shook his head, “I don’t want to hurt the book.”

“I feel vaguely insulted.”

“Damn, I was going for fully insulted,” Barnes sounded bored.

Jensen laughed at that. “But why wizard stuff?”

Barnes shrugged and said, “Non-fiction isn’t anything I’m interested in. Didn’t like history in class and then I lived too much of it. Action and thrillers either annoy me with inaccuracies or make me want to sit in the closet with weapons. Science fiction became a bit too real with the robot arm and aliens. With fantasy I can still suspend disbelief. Also this has a talking skull named Bob.”

“That actually sounds reasonable,” Jensen said.

“It happens,” Barnes said and he opened the book back up. All his focus seemed to zero on the pages and Jensen got the feeling he wasn’t going to say anymore.

 

“So who is your other friend?” Sam asked breaking the lull in conversation. He nodded toward Cougar who had moved to join group.

Jensen had forgotten all about Cougar. He had focused on the louder presence of Steve and let himself get distracted. Part of his hindbrain told him he had gotten lazy and that was a stupid mistake. Somehow he didn’t feel bad as he looked at Steve, Natasha and Clay seated at the table talking more calmly about travel arrangements. Well he may have been a good handler but he’d been indifferent to working in combat. As much as It should have concerned him, Jensen liked having lost the hyper vigilance. If he regretted it later, he’d worry about it than.

“Yeah, Cougar wasn’t exactly the stealthiest ninja. I think it makes Clay feel better,” Jensen reasoned, “or he likes lurking. Strong case for both options.”

“As long as he doesn’t break into my hotel room and eat all my Nutty Bars, he’s cool.” Sam shrugged.

“Who did that?” Jensen raised an eyebrow.

“Natasha.”

“I am somehow surprised and not,” Jensen said flatly.

“That just means you’re getting to know her better.” Sam said with a smile.

“And that is scarier than when I first met her.”

“Does everyone you meet terrify you?” Sam turned more toward him, “Cause if it is you gonna have an ulcer by the end of the day.”

“I’m used to a very stressful life and most of my fear is rational,” Jensen tried to sound justified.

“Uh huh,” Sam chuckled.

“I’m within swinging distance of two assasins, a sniper and three soldiers. Two of those have fought aliens,” Jensen listed.

Sam paused for a moment then blew out a breath. “Man I have really lost perspective.”

“Welcome to the team. We have jackets.”

 

 

Sam and Jensen talked for a while about possible team jackets. Sam suggested red and brown based on a joke about pirates He told two times for Jensen to get it. He made Sam tell the joke for a third time just for the hell of it. Once he caught on though Sam told him his jacket was going to be a special shade of brown. Jensen was sure that even if he followed through on the threat it wouldn’t be as horrible for him as Sam hoped.

Steve walked up to them with his hands in his pocket, “What are you two going on about?”

“Should we tell him?” Jensen eyed Steve.

Sam shook his head, “Nah, let’s just make him wonder forever.”

“He’ll just keep asking you,” He pointed out.

“Yeah but he deserves a little somethin’ to keep him busy,” Sam said with a smile.

Steve looked back and forth between the two of them, “I hate you both.”

Sam shrugged, “You could just let it go. Not like we were talking about anything important like you and grumpy squad.”

“But you won’t tell me,” Steve narrowed his eyes.

“Yeah,” Sam smiled.

“I think that makes it important to him,” Jensen added.

“Then that’s his own problem,” Sam said easily.

Steve’s eyes narrowed further.

Jensen tilted his head. “If you look just right, you can almost see flames in his eyes.”

With a huff Sam asked, “You got anything you want to share with the class or are you just gonna keep killing ups with your brain.”

“Well the plan was to take everyone back to the tower, but I think we might be leaving short two people,” Steve deadpanned.

“First you went to a lot of effort to find me,” Jensen held up a finger, “Second was that a height joke?”

“I think it was a height joke,” Sam nodded.

“It’s not a height joke,” Steve cut in.

“Cause we’re not that short,” Sam continued.

“Yeah maybe a few inches at most,” Jensen said.

“It’s not a height joke.”

“Maybe it would work on Clay,” Jensen tapped his chin.

“It’s not a height-“ Steve stopped himself and took a deep breath, “what the hell has happened to my life.”

“You went from being an only child to an older brother?” Sam suggested.

“That doesn’t explain why your helping him,” Steve said and crossed his arms.

“It’s part of the siblings thing,” Sam smiled, “During high school my friends would gang up on me with my sister. Same thing, you just have a lot more catching up to do.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Oh joy.”

“So what are we doing, oh Captain? Other than going to the tower,” Sam asked as he nodded toward Natasha and Clay who were still talking.

“We’re heading out today,” Steve relaxed at the change in topic, “Natasha’s let Tony know we have a few extras and is going to track our progress. So if we do have any problems back up won’t be too far out.”

“Clay and Cougs coming with?” Jensen asked.

Steve nodded, “Maria Hill, one of the former heads of S.H.I.E.L.D. works for Stark industries now. Clay and her can compare notes about Hydra from his end. Cougar said he could mediate.”

“That’ll be interesting,” Jensen said.

“I’m sure you’re going to fill us in,” Sam patted Jensen on the shoulder, “Maria’s probably gonna wanna talk to you too.”

“Great,” Jensen sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose under his glasses.

“Thought you liked talking?” Sam smirked.

“Laugh it up asshole.”

Sam’s smiled widened, “Oh, I will.”

“Clay wants to roll out as soon as possible and I agree with him,” Steve cut in, “Want to change any seating arrangements before we drive to New York?”

Jensen glanced at the vehicle he was leaning on. “Nah, probably should let Barnes read in peace. We’ll have plenty of time to talk when I’m not being interrogated.”

Steve nodded and pulled him in for a thankfully much gentler hug. “See you soon, kid. Natasha has my new number if you need anything.”

He huffed a thank you as he returned the hug. Once Steve released him, Sam gave him a half hug.

Over Sam’s shoulder he saw Steve tap on the back window. “You got all that right, Buck?” Steve said in a raised voice. The window slowly rolled down and Steve was rewarded with a metal middle finger. Steve threw the gesture back at Barnes as the window went back up, “Fuck you too Buddy.”

Jensen looked at Sam as he stepped back, “Are you sure he’s was an only child?”

“There more like an old married couple,” Sam said, “Skipped right over honey moon period and went to the ‘sarcasm means I love you’ stage.”

“Does that make Bucky my brother-in-law?”

“Yep, better getting something nice, I think their anniversary is coming up.”

Jensen paused, “What the gift for centennial year?”

“I don’t know, something expensive,” Sam suggested.

“Which I’m sure I’ll be able to afford on an unemployed IT guy’s paycheck,” Jensen deadpanned.

“That’s the spirit,” Sam hit his arm, “You’ll have plenty of time to think about it on the drive over.”

Sam laughed at the groan Jensen made.

 

They were on the road for an hour before Jensen gave up on coding again. He tried to play the pinball game on the laptop with Cougar. They decided to switch back and forth when the other lost. It seemed like a decent plan until Cougar bet his high score and then kept going.

“Hey Natasha.”

She looked up at him with a questioning look.

“Steve said you have his number, mind if I get it?”

Natasha turned back forward and he could hear her rummage through a bag. She turned and tossed a phone at him. “Keep it,” she said, “It’s a burner.”

“Huh, thanks,” he looked down at the phone.

“If you’re gonna be texting turn the volume down,” Clay added. “I’ll lose my mind if I have to listen to alerts going off every 5 seconds.”

“You do have children, don’t you Clay?” Jensen mused.

Clay hummed and kept his eyes straight ahead of him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Cougar nodding with enthusiasm.

Jensen scrolled through the phone until he found contacts. The first one was “Asshole”. He glanced over the top of the small screen at Natasha. The next one was “Birdman” which he would have assumed was Sam until he saw the contact right below it was “Birdman Also”.  He read through a few more amusing names until he decided “Captain Small-Ass” was the one most likely to be Steve.

_Bored_

_Bored_

_Boooorreedd_

A response came back with a little chirp, _You know you have to wait for a person to respond._

Another chirp, _I’m guessing this is Jacob._

Clay cleared his throat in the front seat and Jensen toggled the volume down. _Correct guess._

_Natasha only sends me “bored” texts after she’s been out with Barton._

Jensen tilted his head, _Barton?_

_Clint Barton, hawkeye, think I’ve mentioned him before._

_Did you have eye contact?_

_Maybe_ , Jensen pictured Steve shrugging.

_No promising I heard it than._

Cougar, tapped him on the shoulder and Jensen looked up. He offered Jensen the laptop back having finally lost. Jensen looked at the new high score and cursed out loud. Cougar looked proud of himself which didn’t help. Jensen lost within three minutes and handed the laptop back. He turned his attention back to the phone as Cougar made clicking noises in the back ground.

_You are a horrible intelligence agent_ , Steve had sent.

_Good thing I’m looking for a career change._ Jensen typed back.

_Wow delay, thought you had moved onto something shinier._ Than another message, _I’m tempted to try and get you working with Tony but I also feel like that would be a bad idea._

_Tony Stark, right?_

Again there was a pause, _Yes._ Another message arrived shortly after, _He’s a good person but he’s an ass._

_Well now I know who “Asshole” is in Nat’s phone._

_That’s a safe bet. Nat used to work for him. Or rather worked for Shield and pretended to work for him._

Jensen took a second to process that. _He must not to be too bad if he’s alive._

_He has a few redeeming qualities. Don’t tell him that. Humility is not one of those qualities._

_Then what are?_

For how long it took Steve to reply, Jensen thought he had a hard time thinking of a good quality for Stark. Instead he got a block of text. _At the moment he’s helping make artificial limbs for vets and accident victims. Using 3d printing to make them light weight and quicker to turn out. Also big in alternative energy. Most obvious is the arc reactor but he has projects in solar and wind power too. Plus he has an open invitation for safe port. As you can see that is handy._

_Huh,_ Jensen sent back.

Steve responded with, _He’s still an ass._

_I’d hate to hear what you say about me behind my back._

_Tony knows I think he’s an ass._

_Ah, friendship. So he knows who I am?_

_We’ve been keeping the details vague when talking to him. Nat let him know we are arriving with 4 additional people and Hill should be there when we arrive._

  1. Jensen set the phone down and looked out window. He let his head relax against the head rest. The conversation rolled around in his head before he locked onto something. _Wait. Does he know *what* I am?_



Steve sent a, _???_

_Like you know. That I’m you?_

_Oh? I didn’t tell him anything. Nat may have and there was information about you in the released Hydra files._

Jensen looked up, “Natasha did you tell anyone I was Captain Clone?”

She turned her head and looked at him, “No. Why do you ask?”

“Reasons,” Jensen said as he looked back down at the phone.

_Wanna see if we can make Tony think I’m you?_ Jensen messaged.

_Not sure that would work._ Jensen was in the middle of typing a reply when another text came in from Steve, _Sam says “You ain’t allowed to say shit like that while I’m driving”. And also vague amusement words. Bucky says we look nothing alike._  Pause. _There arguing now but the long and the short of it is Sam will pay us 20 dollars to do it._

_I could use the money._

_No you just have a sick sense of humor._

_The two are not mutually exclusive._

 

The tower is huge. Maybe not the biggest Jensen has seen, but it does have the biggest random “A” on it. His first impulse was look for vantage points and from how stiff Barnes was standing next to him, it was his first thought too.

“I think there’s a balcony,” Barnes muttered.

“Wanna drop a penny off it?” Jensen asked.

Barnes looked away from building and at him. “You did that in Bangkok,” He said slowly.

“Maybe,” Jensen shrugged.

“We had to change our position.” Barnes continued.

“Only slightly,” Jensen said.

Barnes stared at him then sighed. “Both of you are more trouble than your worth,” he said as he walked toward the building.

 

“So how are we going to try and trick Tony?” Jensen asked as they walked into the lobby.

Clay and Natasha looked confused and Sam started laughing loudly. Steve ran a hand over his face.

“Are we actually doing this?” Steve sighed.

Jensen shrugged a shoulder, “Not like you’ll get another chance too.”

“What are you going to do to Stark?” Natasha moved closer to them in the group. Clay watched them over the top of her head.

“Jensen wants to Parent Swap Tony,” Sam answered.

Steve considered it for a moment. “Just don’t say anything. The longer you can go without talking, the better it will work.”

“No way Starks not going to notice,” Clay joined in, “Jensen carries himself differently for starters. And there’s the face fuzz.”

“Not all of us want to rock the middle age, too lazy to shave stubble,” Jensen replied.

“If Tony is distracted he probably won’t notice,” Natasha said lightly, “one time I left the room and it took him twenty minutes to notice I was gone.”

They paused in front of the elevator that slide open on it’s own. “Welcome back Mz. Romanoff,” a computerized British voice said.

“Thank you Jarvis,” Natasha said stepping in, “Does Tony know who all is here?”

“Mr. Stark is only aware that you and Mr. Rogers have arrived with guests,” The voice responded.

“Think you can keep it that way until we get up there?” Natasha asked with a smile.

“Mr. Stark is currently talking to Dr. Banner about the structural properties of his next arc reactor,” The voice, Jarvis supplied, “I doubt I could inform him if I tried.”

“Ten minutes,” Clay said and pulled out his wallet.

“Fifteen,” Nasha added.

“I’m gonna split the difference at thirteen,” Sam said, “how much we betting for? I only got a twenty.”

“I thought that twenty was going to me,” Jensen turned to him.

“Only if I win,” Sam held up the bill, “What about you Steve?”

Rogers shook his head, “Nah, I’m just gonna hang back and time it. That okay Jarvis?”

“Certainly sir,” The voice sounded vaguely bored.

Barnes held up five fingers.

“Rude,” Jensen snorted as Steve collected the bet money. The elevator slowed and he took off his glasses and put them in his back pocket. “Great now everyone’s blurry.”

“Don’t run into anything.” Sam supplied.

“I’m not that blind,” Jensen heard Sam laugh, “Quite blob man.”

The elevator doors slide open and everyone stepped out besides Steve. Jensen carefully walked down a small flight of stairs, not wanting to face plant right off the bat. He could hear one man talking loudly about the different proprieties of metals and energy going through them and a second voice go, “Mhmm, right Tony.”

“Just making sure your paying attention,” the first voice, he assumed Tony, said moving closer.

“I only fell asleep once,” the second voice replied.

“And now I will forever doubt you,” Tony said. “Romanoff, Capsicle, welcome to my humble abode.”

Jensen straightened his back and crossed his arms in away Steve had when he’d first met the man.

“Wow cold shoulder,” Tony snorted at his own joke, “So who are the merry bunch?”

“Sam Wilson, Franklin Clay, Carlos Alvarez and the no longer allusive Bucky Barnes,” Natasha jumped in. “Sam’s been traveling with Steve and Bucky. Clay and Cougar met up with them and have possible information on Hydra.”

“Cougar?” Tony walked over to the sniper, “Is that your preference in women?”

“More like, you don’t know what’s behind you until it’s gnawing on your spleen, kind of Cougar,” Jensen said before he could stop himself. At least he’d dropped his voice to match Steve’s.

Tony straightened up, “That is oddly specific.” Jensen could see the other man, Banner if he went off of Jarvis had said, watching him.

Jensen shrugged and turned more toward the blurry Tony, “Isn’t Hill supposed to be here?”

“She’s coming up with Pepper,” Tony waved it off, “Nice use of the goatee. Get jealous of mine Cap?”

Jensen tilted his head to the group, “Was Sam’s idea.”

“You are not blaming me for that,” Sam said and then rubbed his face. He guessed it was to keep from laughing.

“Stark we have valuable assets to go over,” Natasha tried to draw the attention back to her.

“And a man with a metal arm,” Tony cut in, “that is the most interesting thing here, other than Cap’s facial hair envy. Looks good by the way, can totally rock it.”

Jensen tried for what he thought was an accurate Steve glare. Bruce walked a bit closer and stared at him. Yeah he should have kept his mouth shut. Still worth it. Tony however was now focused on Bucky.

“Why is he wearing a flower crown?”

Barnes made a low growling noise.

“He likes them,” Sam answered simply and put a hand on Barnes’ shoulder.

“You go on one soul searching adventure and you come back looking like a pair of hipsters. Should get Steve a big beanie. Maybe one with the a shield on it.” Tony rambled mostly to himself as he walked over to what appeared to be a bar. Bruce’s head direction moved from Jensen to slightly behind him.

“Hey Tony,” Bruce sounded amuse, “Does Steve look any different to you?”

“Well yeah,” There was the sound of liquid pouring, “I just assumed he was on a cleanse, that’s what all the kids are doing these days-Holy Shit!” Tony jumped and Jensen heard a glass break.

“Jarvis kicked me out of the elevator,” Steve said from behind Jensen. Sam stopped trying to hold back his laughter and howled loudly.

“Couldn’t have been a few more minutes,” Clay groaned.

“Does this mean I can put my glasses back on?” Jensen asked as he pulled them out of his back pocket. He had them on just in time to see Steve pass the cash to Barnes.

“That was rigged,” Sam said with one last laugh.

“Jarvis, said he needed the elevator,” Steve shrugged. “Ask him.”

“Indeed Ms. Potts and Ms. Hill required access to this floor and the elevator Mr. Rogers was hiding in is the only access to this level.” Jarvis supplied.

“Jarvis!” Tony shouted, “You were in on this?”

“Indeed sir,” Jarvis said, “but it seemed rather harmless. I have the exchange recorded if you wish to view it later.”

“I thought you’d be tinier,” Tony said as he walked closer.

“That seems to be everyone’s guess,” Jensen said flatly.

With that Tony descended into another barely understandable collection of words sometime involving science.

 

 

 

 

Several months later Tony had fallen for the swap two more times and Jensen once successfully programmed Jarvis to talk strictly in puns. Overall it kept life interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you one and all! Sorry for the delay, but Africa. Also hope you enjoyed. Take care and stay safe.


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